Confessions
by passionchurro
Summary: Xanxus and Squalo get into another argument, but the ending of this one turns into a confession from the boss. //XanxusxSqualo//Yaoi//
1. The Fight

**Confessions**

**chapter 1**

**XanxusxSqualo**

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters...obviously.**

**And yes, Xanxus will get a bit OOC here, but you know, it happens! xD In reality, this is based off a crack rp between my friend and I. We weren't planning the rp, we just -did it- and no, not that -did it- xD. Anyway, she was Xanxus and I was Squalo. We were being rather illiterate in Gmail chat so of course, I just used our chat as a guideline and made it super literate.  
**

**Enjoy**

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"VUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOI! WHAT THE HELL DID I DO NOW?!" the voiced echoed in the large room as its owner's bruised forehead started bleeding, trickling down his face. He had been hit by a flying glass thrown by his own boss who obviously cared more about shattering the glass on the white haired man's head than the wine that was in it (that is not until after the wine became soaked up in the other's hair but even then, the boss just grabbed himself another glass to pour his wine in).

"You pissed me off again, stupid shark," growled the angered man as he took a sip of his newly poured glass of expensive alcohol.

"Well I'm just so sorry!!" Squalo replied sarcastically wiping the blood off his forehead and getting a small towel from the boss' bathroom to dry his hair (though he would obviously have to take a shower).

Xanxus didn't say anything more and merely sipped from his glass. There was a very tense silence, but that wasn't new. And if Squalo didn't say anything it would continue to hover over them.

"I'm leaving," Squalo groaned tossing the towel on the floor without care ('let the stupid boss pick it up' was his intent) as he began to make his way to the door.

"No you're not."

"What?" Squalo stopped walking and looked over his shoulder to look at Xanxus.

"I never said you could go," Xanxus growled not looking at the other.

"I don't need your permission to leave this room," Squalo scowled walking again.

"DON'T YOU DARE TAKE ANOTHER STEP OR I'LL KILL YOU!!"

Squalo stopped dead in his tracks. The shark would never admit it, not in a million years (just not ever), that if he and Xanxus ever battled in a real fight, it would be Squalo who would wind up brutally beaten up to a bloody pulp if not dead.

There was a brief silence before Squalo turned on heel to face Xanxus. "What's the big deal!?"

"You can only leave when I tell you to," Xanxus calmly said, taking a sip from his glass.

"And why is that?" Squalo barked annoyed.

"You belong to me, that's why."

"I never agreed to that!!" Squalo yelled.

Xanxus chuckled deeply. "Fine print."

"THERE WAS NO FREAKING CONTRACT YOU ASSHOLE!! I JUST FOLLOWED!!" Squalo roared losing it, his fist clenching at his sides.

"You vowed yourself to me. You even grew your hair out to express this," Xanxus replied nonchalantly.

Squalo arched an eyebrow in annoyance. "That doesn't mean you own me, bastard."

"You chose to follow me and because I'm your boss, I do own you," Xanxus returned with the same calm voice. "Thus your hair, your body, every inch of you belongs to me."

That last comment from his boss really pissed off the shark. "I DON'T BELONG TO YOU!!"

"Yes you do."

"MY HAIR DOESN'T BELONG TO YOU!!" Squalo continued ignoring Xanxus.

"Yes it does." Still so nonchalant.

"THIS BODY," Squalo went on, tugging at his own jacket collar to signify that he was talking about his own body. "NOT YOURS, DAMNIT!!"

Xanxus finally let his eyes lay on his subordinate. His eyes narrowed and a perverted smirk formed on his lips. "That's not what you said last night."

In a split second after he heard the other's remark, Squalo's expression changed from that of anger to confusion and worry. "L-LAST NIGHT!? W-WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?" Squalo, overwhelmed by bewilderment, actually forgot what did occur last night even though it had nothing to do with Xanxus let alone about Squalo's body.

Xanxus chuckled and soon burst out into a malicious laughter. "HAHAHA, STUPID TRASH!!" A pause. "Nothing happened last night. I just said that because it makes you make that stupid face!!"

Squalo glared. "WHAT FACE!?"

"The 'oh shit! what's he talking about!?' face," Xanxus chuckled evilly.

"I-I DON'T MAKE A FACE LIKE THAT!!" Squalo yelled his face distorted with anger although very faintly, the shark's cheeks were lightly flushed with pink from embarrassment.

"Yeah, you do."

"NO I DON'T!!"

"You do."

"GAH!! YOU'RE SUCH A MORON!!" Squalo flailed his arms in the air and rolled his eyes.

"You're one to talk," Xanxus glared lightly.

"WHAT WAS THAT!?" the shark growled, his anger not fading one bit. Rather it increased if it was even possible.

"You're a moron, but don't worry, I like you anyway," the boss replied casually with a shrug.

"GOD, THERE'S NO LIVING WITH YOU!!" Squalo's hands balled up into fists as his whole body tensed up in anger. "HOW DO I PUT UP WITH ALL YOUR SHIT!?"

Xanxus merely shrugged again and then silence hung over them. Xanxus chuckled briefly once more (probably remembering something about the shark that made him laugh) as he leaned back in his chair. He had the last laugh and Squalo just scoffed, though knowing his defeat. The silence stayed for a while until something popped into the shark's head.

"You know what?" Squalo started off harshly with a glare directed at his boss.

"Hmmm?" the man in the chair merely muttered in response.

"Ever since I started following you, I haven't been able to hook up with a girl!"

"Good, because you're mine," Xanxus stated firmly.

"NO I'M NOT, ASSHOLE!!"

Xanxus merely chuckled without another word escaping his lips.

Í hope you fall off a cliff or get hit by a bus or SOMETHING LIKE THAT!! I DON'T CARE SO LONG AS YOU DIE!!" Squalo snapped.

"You wouldn't want that," Xanxus replied calmly with a smirk, resting his head back against his chair and closing his eyes.

"Oh really? And why not?" the shark growled placing his hands on his hips.

"Isn't that obvious? You're totally gay for me," the smirk grew wider although the eyes never opened.

"HA! You wish! Who would be gay for a shithead like you!?" Squalo sneered.

"You for starters."

"Psh! Yeah right!! I'm so for the boobs and the miniskirts!!"

"Sure, if you're straight, then so is Lussuria," Xanxus opened his eyes just to roll them to add to his sarcastic remark.

"Come on, is that the best you can do!? Everyone knows Lussuria is gay! He's all over men! You don't see me drooling over men do you!?" Squalo laughed thinking he got the best of his boss.

"I don't see you drooling over girls either." Or not; Xanxus had the last laugh again.

Squalo didn't say anything for a moment. This was getting ridiculous and the shark was very annoyed. He hated losing to Xanxus in almost every single argument they had (ok, all of their arguments really). "That's it! I'm going to find a girl!" he finally said making his way to the door. Squalo did get any farther than one step when Xanxus replied.

"I'll kill her," he simply declared glaring at the shark.

Squalo stopped, his anger fuming, turned around and stomped back to Xanxus to face him. "What is up with you!? Why are you so obsessive over me!?"

"Because it's fun to see you all flustered," Xanxus chuckled and smirked at the shark in front of him. "And you're mine, of course. No one else can have you."

"For the last time, I'M NOT YOURS!!"

Xanxus was silent mainly because he didn't feel like saying anything more or else this argument would turn into a childish fight of 'yes you are' and 'no I'm not'.

"Why not leave me alone for once!? Why do you have to be so possessive of me!?" Squalo kept on, but there was a faint strain in his voice that showed he a bit upset. He just didn't understand Xanxus and something about his boss being so controlling over him made his heart sting and his stomach twist up into a knot. Unwillingly, but it seemed to help just a tad, the shark let his hand rise to his chest to grip the fabric of his jacket where his heart thumped heavily beneath his skin and muscles.

"Because you're loyal to me," Xanxus replied, but this time with no chuckles and no smirks. On his face held a serious expression.

Squalo never saw his boss this serious before, especially towards him. It was either laughing at him and calling him trash or yelling at him and calling him trash. "So?" the shark tried to keep his voice steady. "What about Bel? He's loyal."

"Not as loyal as you," still that serious, beautiful face stared at him.

"Sure he is! What about Lussuria!? He's way more loyal than me!"

"Not really," Xanxus sighed.

"Yeah he is!!" Squalo's anger took over and the pain in his heart was completely forgotten about. He dropped his hand down to his side where it balled up into a fist. "Why not direct your goddamn controlling energy towards him!?"

"Not my type," Xanxus replied closing his eyes and shrugging.

"Oi! Really now!?" Squalo questioned crossing his arms.

"Yup."

"Then what is your type?"

"Sharks."

Squalo arched an eyebrow in puzzlement. _'What the hell kind of answer is that?'_ echoed in his head. "Sharks?" he repeated mockingly.

"One in particular," the boss replied without opening his eyes.

The shark looked at his boss in surprise. Silence hung again, but this time because Xanxus had nothing more to say and Squalo was too dumfounded to speak. "You…are….unbelievable," he spoke after some time. "…messed up….screwed up in the head. I think that brat Tsuna knocked you around too hard."

Xanxus' eyes show opened and he leaned forward in his chair, directing his glare at Squalo. "What?" he growled deeply; he was really pissed off by that comment.

"Well the kid did beat the crap out of you," Squalo replied with a shrug.

"Shut up."

"What? I'm just stating the facts. That kid whooped your ass good."

Xanxus' anger grew as he gripped the arms of his chair, a deep growl still resounded in his throat. "Shut. Up."

"I mean seriously," Squalo continued ignoring his boss' orders.

Xanxus had enough; he didn't need the shark to finish that sentence. He quickly stood up and stormed his way over to Squalo.

"….you had your ass handed right back to you," Squalo had nearly finished just as Xanxus reached him and violently grabbed him by the collar.

"SHUT THE HELL UP!! Xanxus roared, his anger really showing.

"Whoah," Squalo lifted his hands in a surrendering fashion. "No need to be angry. I was angry, and surprised too, when you lost to that kid." A smirked formed across the shark's lips.

Not the wisest choice to continue insulting the boss seeing how it cost Squalo to be thrown harshly against the wall. All the while, Xanxus didn't release his tight grip on Squalo's collar.

"GAH!! THAT HURTS!!" Squalo yelled in pain as he was kept pinned up against the wall.

"You deserved it trash," Xanxus replied, viciously releasing his grip on Squalo and walking away.

"Psh, asshole," Squalo muttered loud enough for the other to hear as he made himself comfortable against the wall, crossing his arms as he did so.

"Worthless trash," Xanxus snarled, his back to the shark.

"Jackass."

Xanxus turned to look at Squalo, the anger never in his eyes never fading. "Why would anyone ever want you? Much less let you follow them like a stupid dog?"

"You," Squalo answered sarcastically.

"I didn't ask who, idiot. I asked why. I should have never listened to you."

"Well, I don't know what goes on through your stupid head," Squalo shrugged. "Not my fault."

Xanxus looked away. "You never had to follow me."

"I liked your anger remember?" Squalo replied. "But it was stupid of me to stick around seeing how hateful you are to your followers."

"So?" Xanxus shrugged. "They don't matter to me. They just need to do their job."

Squalo watched Xanxus in silence. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes as he let out a sigh. "You know, I think I'm starting to like the fact that the brat is the tenth boss. At least his doesn't treat his family like trash." Squalo opened his eyes just in time to see the boss' next move.

Xanxus literally spun around to charge back towards Squalo, throwing a punch against the wall just a few centimeters to the side of the shark's face. "THEN WHY DON'T YOU GO TO HIM, DAMNIT!? VOW YOUR LOYALTY TO HIM!? GROW YOUR HAIR OUT FOR HIM SINCE HE'S SO GODDAMN WONDERFUL!?" The boss was angry, no, extremely angry. He was seething, his eyes glared fiercer the ever and his forehead had more wrinkles than the shark ever imagined. A deep, inhuman growl reverberated within his throat. This was the most angry Squalo had seen his boss (more angry than the Sky Ring battle if that was even possible), but at the same time, the most hurt.

"Why so angry boss?" Squalo question with a hint of sarcasm.

"Because you want to leave me," Xanxus hissed; oh yes, he was hurt.

"Never said that," Squalo returned calmly, looking into the other's red eyes.

"YES YOU DID!!"

"No I didn't. I said I was leaving the room, not you."

"Might as well be the same damn thing, you stupid shark, if you're throwing your loyalty in with that brat!" Xanxus continued to growl in Squalo's face, finally backing off the other by pushing away from the wall, traces of plaster crumbling from the hole and the angry man's fist.

"Now you're overreacting. I never said anything about throwing my loyalty away. I just said one simple comment and-" the rest of the shark's sentence was cut off by Xanxus' next words.

"You still said!" Xanxus yelled glaring at Squalo. "I have no need for you if your devotion has faltered."

"It hasn't faltered," Squalo replied, being the most calm between the both of them for once.

Xanxus walked back to the other and placed an arm against the wall, leaning close enough to Squalo's face to where the shark could feel his burning breath (and the faint scent of alcohol from the expensive wine he drank). "Prove it," he spoke under his breath just audible enough for Squalo to hear.

"Prove it?" Squalo recurred, his eyebrow arching again.

Xanxus leaned back a little, though keeping his arm rested against the wall, just enough to look at the shark' face in its entirety. It was evident that the boss had calmed himself down by a huge amount although it was clear that he was still immensely angry. His face showed he was calm, but his voice gave away his rage. "Prove it," he said again harshly.

Squalo let out a sigh, briefly closing his eyes as he did so, before reopening and replying. "I haven't cut my hair have I?"

"So?" Xanxus mocked not satisfied with this answer.

"So, the fact that I grew my hair out for you as an expression of my loyalty and having never cut it for the past eight years, should be proof enough."

"That's not enough," Xanxus said, obviously still not satisfied with Squalo's in-depth answer.

"This," Squalo started, grabbing a lock of his long white hair and irately shaking it in front of Xanxus' face. "Should be proof enough! What more do you want from trash like me?"

"To know you'll never leave me," Xanxus' expression seemed to change. It looked as if, the anger was washed away and replaced with sincerity and…longing for reassurance.

"Why is it so important that I don't leave?" The pang in Squalo's heart came back in full force and the shark began to feel sorry for the other after seeing this new expression on his face, but he soon became sarcastic. "You can always find someone else to be your punching bag," the shark glared lightly, crossing his arms again.

"I like it when it's you," Xanxus answered with a smirk.

Squalo's glare intensified. "My point exactly," he spoke, a bit hurt, pushing himself off the wall and past Xanxus. He began walking towards the door to leave. "I'm tired. I'm going to bed," he added making up an excuse even though he was far from tired.

Xanxus knew he said something wrong and cursed himself in his head as he would never admit it out loud. He chased after Squalo who was a mere few steps away from the door. Xanxus caught up in no time and grabbed the white haired man's arm.

If Squalo was annoyed before, then boy was he really annoyed now. "What now?" he groaned, growing weary of this never ending argument as he was forced to turn at look at Xanxus. "Has it ever occurred to you that-"

"I like it when you're around," Xanxus replied, oddly, most of his anger gone. He glanced away to avoid meeting eyes with the other. "Happy?"

Take the 'being annoyed' level up one more notch. That's where Squalo was now. "Oh yeah, so you can give me more bruises?" Squalo jerked his arm out of Xanxus' grip. "Well isn't that nice? Thanks!!"

"No. I just….want you around." How bluntly put.

"Oh, so to throw shit at me, then? Or to call me names and such? Because I find it really hard to believe that you 'just want me around'!!"

"It's not my fault you happen to be there when I need to kick the shit out of someone!!" Xanxus yelled, losing control of his anger again.

"Oh thanks!! BLAME IT ON ME!!" Squalo turned around and began walking.

"You never complained!"

The shark kept on walking.

"I thought you liked it!!"

Squalo stopped abruptly, and right when he got to the door too. He turned sharply to look at Xanxus. "Liked it? YOU THOUGHT I LIKED IT!? WHO IN THE HELL WOULD LIKE GETTING THE SHIT KNOCKED OUT OF THEM, JACKASS!?"

"YOU TELL ME! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO KEEPS COMING BACK FOR MORE!!"

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?"

"IF YOU HATED IT SO GODDAMN MUCH, WHY DIDN'T YOU LEAVE A LONG TIME AGO!?"

The shark was silent after that question. It had caught him completely off guard and left Squalo speechless for a short while. "………………." The shark stayed quiet for a while as if thinking. "Good question," he finally said. "Why didn't I leave?" he repeated the question to himself glancing at the ceiling. "I dunno," he answered after a while looking back at Xanxus. "I guess I thought you would change or something."

"I see…" Xanxus was silent soon after uttering those two words.

"'You….see' what? Squalo was confused. What was going on through the boss' head? When Xanxus didn't answer him, the shark just sighed and turned to leave.

"Do you….do you even like me?"

Squalo stopped (how many times so far now has he started walking and stopped, starting walking and stopped?). That was another question that really caught the shark off guard. He took a deep breath and sighed. "I wonder," he spoke sarcastically. He turned slightly and looked over at Xanxus. "I'm still here aren't I?"

Xanxus didn't say anything, he just looked at Squalo with a never before seen face. His face shown injure, as if he hurt inside, he looked like how Squalo felt not that long ago: a pang in the heart and a knot in the stomach. Squalo waited, but he didn't know for what, he simply felt like he had to, but when the silence between them seemed to drag on for too long, the shark made the motion of beginning to leave.

"Squalo…" his name was muttered in almost a whisper, but the shark heard it. After all he wasn't that far from his boss.

Squalo turned around all the way to face Xanxus completely, crossing his arms. "What?"

He didn't know, however, that the moment he did so, Xanxus was much closer than he was before. The black haired man gently gripped the shark's arm and used his free hand to grab the back of his head to prevent his face from retreating. The next move anyone would see coming, but Squalo was just a few seconds late in realizing it. He didn't know what his boss was doing until after Xanxus crashed his lips against the shark's with a brutal force.

At first, Squalo didn't resist as he was too stunned to fully register what was going on. But when he did, the shock he gained from realizing that his boss was kissing him made him push the other away with all his might. The kiss was broken instantly and Xanxus had to let go of Squalo's head to keep from pulling it along with him. That hand now rested on the other's shoulder. The shark panted maintaining an arm distance between them as he wiped his lips with the back of his hand (but keeping it over his mouth for extra protection in case the other decided to steal another kiss).

"W-What…..WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?" yelled the now flushed shark.

"Some call it a kiss," Xanxus answered smoothly.

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT, ASSHOLE!!"

"Then what do you mean?"

"W-WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR!? I-IT JUST CAME OUT OF NOWHERE!!" Squalo continued to shout.

"No it didn't," Xanxus returned arching his eyebrow now.

"Yeah, it did!! One moment we were arguing and the next your lips are on mine!!"

"Well, it didn't come out of nowhere."

"It was still random!!" Squalo stepped back quickly to get out of Xanxus' light grasp stopping just a few steps away from his boss.

"You asked me what my type was, and I answered. I told you I liked having you around," Xanxus tried to close the gap between them by taking a few steps, but when he saw that it only made Squalo take equal steps backwards away from him, he abandoned the idea and simply stood there.

"I-I thought you were kidding!!" Squalo returned trying to calm down, but failing in attempt and it was clear in his strained voice that he was flustered and very confused.

"I've been dropping hints left and right you dense shark!" Xanxus picked up his voice level a tad.

"I thought you were being sarcastic!"

"No," the boss simply replied.

Squalo didn't say anything back and since he didn't, Xanxus had nothing to answer. Squalo turned around quickly. "Whatever! I'm going to bed!"

"Hey!"

The shark stopped again for what seemed like the twentieth time, but he didn't turn around or look behind his shoulder this time. "What?"

"Did you like it?"

"Like what?" Squalo questioned knowing very well what the other was talking about though.

"Me kissing you."

"Oh." Good thing the shark didn't turn to face Xanxus because just having heard the word 'kiss' (or any form of it), a blush painted his cheeks. "…that." Squalo was about to hesitate but if he did, his next words wouldn't be convincing. "No, of course not," he managed to say without any stuttering.

Since Squalo never looked back at Xanxus, he never saw another face that was never made by the other (at least, no one ever saw it): rejection. After hearing the shark's last words, Xanxus was speechless because now he was feeling that nasty stab in his heart. His forehead wrinkled and he frowned as he looked at the ground, but not because he was angry. Then he remembered he was boss and he still didn't want the stupid shark to leave the room.

While Xanxus was going through his feeling of rejection, Squalo was taking deep breaths to calm his nerves before speaking. "Night….I guess." Squalo just opened the door in front of him when he felt the back of his jacket collar being grabbed and tugged. Xanxus pulled back to get the other close enough to him to hug from behind. The boss wrapped his arms around the shark's waist and buried his face in the other man's long hair, closing his eyes.

"Don't go," Xanxus whispered, his voice a bit muffled as there was a wall of hair in front of his lips, but Squalo still heard it.

Blushing, Squalo lifted his hands and placed them over his boss' arms. "W-what now?" he muttered under his breath.

"Just…don't go," Xanxus repeated taking in the other's scent.

They stood like that for a while by the doorway, the blush on Squalo's face never fading. Finally he started to struggle and attempted to pull Xanxus' arms apart. "Come on, let go. I'm tired."

"Stay here with me."

"What's the big deal? You practically see me every day!" the shark continued to get out of the other's grasp but it only made the other hold on tighter.

"And I want to see you right now, is that so goddamn wrong?" Xanxus hissed.

"…I-I told you…I didn't like it!!" Squalo tried harder to break free.

"Are you sure?" Xanxus opened his eyes and rested his chin on the shark's shoulder. He was able to see the other's face quite well now.

"O-Of course I am!!" Squalo shut his eyes tight hoping his boss didn't see him blushing.

"You don't sound sure," Xanxus smirked.

"What!? I am!? It was gross!!"

"You blushed." Crap, he did see.

"N-No I didn't!!" Squalo was really embarrassed now; he felt like his pride was being stripped away and that made him struggle more.

"Yes you did. Both times I asked," the smirk grew wider.

"Well, I'd like to see you not blush if you were in my position! Having another guy plant his lips on you and all that shit!!" As much as he tried, Squalo just couldn't escape the other's hold.

"If someone other than you did it, I'd be too furious to blush," Xanxus declared glaring lightly at the thought of it someone other than the shark kissing him.

Squalo had stopped struggling and was almost rendered speechless again but managed to find some words to verbalize. "Why…only me? What's so great about me? I'm just a stupid shark," Squalo tried to be sarcastic in the end but he ended up revealing that what his boss was saying to him and doing to him, was really making his heart ache uncontrollably.

Now Xanxus was feeling uncomfortable and he even showed it. He closed his eyes, burying his face into the side of Squalo's neck which sent shivers down the white haired man's spine. "You're the only one who understands me," Xanxus breathed heavily onto the shark's neck, making him shiver again as he gripped his boss' arms.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You're," Xanxus started off in a normal voice, but it fell to almost a whisper. "…my best friend."

Squalo arched an eyebrow and tried to glance at Xanxus but was only able to see the top of the boss' black hair. "Best friends don't kiss other friends," he stated.

Xanxus hid his face more in the shark's neck, if that was possible. "Then you're more than that alright!?"

Squalo didn't say anything and Xanxus took that time to quickly add another sentence. "Don't go blabbing it to everyone, shark!" he hissed in the other's neck making Squalo shiver for the third time.

"Okay, I won't! Now let me go!!" Squalo started struggling again; he wanted to escape from this feeling of immense pain in his heart and nausea in his stomach.

But the shark didn't struggle for long. He stopped abruptly and on his face was shock as he stared blankly out into the hallway in front of him. His face was flushed again, because the boss had whispered something in his ear.

"I love you."

"W-what!?" Squalo turned his head to look at Xanxus as much as he could, surprise smothering his face. He…didn't hear that wrong, did he? His boss did say...those…three…words…right?

"Don't make me say it again," Xanxus murmured viciously (so he did say it).

"Okay then! I won't!! Let go now!!" But the shark wasn't struggling despite his demands.

"No," Xanxus refused hugging the other tighter. "I want some sort of answer."

"Answer? Answer to what!?"

"Do you like me?"

"Not like that!!" How easily that lie came out. Squalo, him having said it, was a bit taken aback hearing that line slip out so easily without hesitation. Of course the answer to that was 'yes'. He loved his boss, but for some reason he was too afraid to admit it. It felt like one of those 'too goddamn good to be true' moments.

The arms around the shark's waist disappeared slowly. "Leave." Squalo could hear it, sense it, Xanxus was hurt. He looked behind his shoulder and actually saw the boss' rejected expression. The other was looking at the ground solemnly, his brow lined with distraught.

The question 'you okay?' was a long shot from appropriate as it was clear the other was far from 'okay'. So, Squalo asked something else. "You…really like me that much?"

Xanxus didn't reply and he didn't move; he simply kept his eyes to the ground. And at that moment, Squalo had this sudden urge to just laugh. Maybe it was because he was so full of mixed emotions that all he could do now was laugh. And he did; he immediately let it out. Although he was laughing, Squalo wasn't happy; rather, now he felt like crying, but like hell he would do that (especially in front of Xanxus). Xanxus became furious with the shark's laughter. "Get out!!" he yelled out.

"Hahahaaa, sorry, sorry!! I-I can't .help it!! I've never seen you like this!!" Squalo laughed out, making up an excuse for his laughing (though it was true that the shark never saw his boss this troubled). He tried to stop laughing by covering his mouth with his hand, though failing miserably. Squalo knew his laughing was really pissing off the boss, but he truly couldn't help it.

"GET OUT!!"

"Ok ok! Sorry," the laughing started to die down as Squalo turned to leave the room, but he was still full of chuckles. The slowness of his exiting and the never-ending laughing cost the shark a punch to the side of his head.

"OW!!" that stopped the laughing instantly.

"JUST GO ALREADY!!" Not caring about the injury he gave Squalo (when did he ever?).

"I'M GOING, I'M GOING!!" Squalo hollered back rubbing his head where the boss had struck him and storming out of the room.

"AND DON'T YOU DARE COME BACK HERE YOU GODDAMN TRASH!!"

"FINE!" Squalo was able to scream back before the door was violently slammed shut.

* * *

**What a way to end a(n almost) special moment!! ;A; Curse me and my love for making things complicated! O**

**Don't worry, there's more….you'll just have to wait for me to type it all up xD**

**But this is (probably) the longest chapter. I only broke it down because I felt it would be too long and ppl would be a bit discouraged to read such a long….one chapter…..one-shot….sort of story…**

**Yah….okay.**

**See you in the next chapter --figuratively……obviously...rolls eyes**

**Coming Soon Confessions chapter 2 : Boss Gets Unwanted Advice**


	2. Boss Gets Unwanted Advice

**Confessions**

**chapter 2**

**XanxusxSqualo**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this story...obviously.**

**This is based off a crack rp between my friend and I. We weren't planning the rp, we just -did it- and no, not that -did it- xD. Anyway, she was Xanxus and I was Squalo (as well as Mammon and Lussuria in this chapter xD). We were being rather illiterate in Gmail chat so of course, I just used our chat as a guideline and made it super literate.  
Hence why the characters may be (and probably are) go ooc.**

**xD**

**Enjoy**

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Squalo walked down the hallway towards his room angrily mumbling to himself all the way. He had just reached his door when he noticed Mammon hovering by. "Hey stupid shark," was all he said (and too casually) as he continued on his way in the direction the shark came from. Squalo snarled at the tiny arcobaleno for that rude greeting (and because Squalo never really like that 'kid'). The shark didn't give his death glare to Mammon for long; really the minute he passed, Squalo opened his door and walked in.

With a sigh of exhaustion, Squalo closed the door behind him and leaned up against it, resting his head back. He closed his eyes and breathed out through his mouth as he unbuttoned his leather jacket. "Geez, that idiot makes me so goddamn tired," Squalo murmured pushing himself off the door and shedding his jacket as he walked over to his bed. He tossed his jacket onto a chair not far from his bed and then unbuttoned the first two buttons of his white collared shirt. Too tired to do anything else, Squalo flopped onto the bed, face burying into the blanket and hoping that sleep would take his mind off what transpired not long ago.

--

While the shark wandered off to his room and do his own thing, Xanxus paced restlessly back and forth in his own room. He stopped after a short while and glanced at his bottle of wine; it was inviting, but not as inviting as the whiskey he kept in his small pantry (yes, he had a pantry just for his expensive alcohol). The boss walked over to cupboard and opened it up, taking out his favorite, popping off the cork and taking the first sip straight up from the bottle.

The alcohol burned his throat and attempted to settle down the irritated man's nerves (though it would take more than one sip to calm down this guy's nervous system when immensely wound up). Xanxus just sat down in his chair when a knock came to his door. "WHAT!?" he growled sharply.

Mammon opened the door and peeked inside to see boss ready to start fuming again. "Whoah boss, so angry," the little arcobaleno spoke hovering in. "What's wrong?"

"Stupid shark pissed me off!!" Xanxus gripped the neck of the bottle tightly.

"Oh, that's not new. He pisses everyone off," Mammon paused. "Well, except Lussuria. You can't really piss him off."

"He pissed me off more than usual."

Mammon shrugged. "Must've been one hell of an argument or whatever because he seemed pretty angry himself," he commented slowly flying towards the boss. "But he also seemed flustered.

Xanxus didn't say anything for a while. "I….think….I said some things I shouldn't have." He muttered to himself but Mammon was able to hear it.

"What are you talking about? Any shit you say to him, he deserves," Mammon replied.

Xanxus didn't ay anything more. He calmed down enough to pour himself a glass of whiskey instead of chugging it from the bottle. When Mammon didn't receive any kind of reply or comment, he went into the reason of why he was there. "Here you go boss," Mammon handed Xanxus a folder. "Our finance records for the week."

The boss took the folder and tossed it nonchalantly onto the table next to him. "Thanks, I'll look it over later."

Mammon nodded and turned to hover out of the room, closing the door behind him. Xanxus let out a harsh sigh and took a sip out of his glass.

--

Although feeling immensely tired, sleep was impossible for Squalo. He tossed and turned, trying to get comfortable only to sit up with a groan. "This isn't working," he grunted glaring lightly at nothing. The shark leaned forward a bit, rubbing his temples with his fingers. He felt a headache coming on; how wonderful (note the shark's sarcasm).

--

The boss tried to get some shut eye as well, but couldn't as he was too restless. A long, low growl emitted from his throat, his eyebrows arched in anger. Just then, the door burst open.

"Oooooh Bossuuuu! Have you seen Bel?" exclaimed a familiar, gay voice.

Xanxus' eyebrow twitched knowing full well who it was that barged into his room. "No I haven't, Lussuria!!" he snapped without opening his eyes.

Lussuria gasped at the sudden rudeness he received from his boss. He was shocked to see how furious the other man looked. "Why bossu!" Lussuria rushed to Xanxus' side. "Such an angry face! Whatever is the matter!?"

Xanxus opened his eyes and glared at Lussuria. "Ask Squalo. It's his goddamn fault."

"Oh dear, did he say some nasty things?" Lussuria pouted in his usual gay-ish way. "You know he doesn't mean anything he says."

"Yeah, sure," Xanxus rolled his eyes in utmost disbelief.

"No, really! He's just not soooo…"Lussuria paused thinking for the right words to say. "…so good with expressing his emotions. Actually, very much like you." Lussuria chuckled, but it sounded more like a giggle.

Xanxus didn't look at Lussuria. "Hmph…"

No reply from the boss after that and silence would have hung over them if Lussuria didn't speak up. "You know…" Lussuria smiled warmly. "He really likes you?"

"Ha! No he doesn't!" Xanxus scoffed. "He hates me!"

"Oh nonsense!" Lussuria waved his hand gaily. "I would know if he hated you. He does, after all, come to me to talk to about these sorts of things." Lussuria grinned, thinking back to the many times he pestered Squalo into revealing almost everything to him.

That sentence reeled in the boss' attention. "What?" he questioned quickly looking at the other.

"He told me once, that out of all of us in the Varia, he likes you most. He won't stop talking about you."

That really captured Xanxus' full attention. "What…what does he say?" he asked trying hard not to look surprised or anxious to know, although it was clear to Lussuria that he was.

"Oh you know, just how much he likes you despite the fact that you do abuse him a lot. And how he would truly do anything for you, even give up his life for you." Lussuria giggled again. "But oh! He told me not to tell anyone, especially you. Haha, oops!" the man acted as if he had forgotten and ran his mouth off too much by accident, but in reality, he did it on purpose.

"Then…." Xanxus looked baffled. "Then why did he reject me?"

"Reject you?" Now Lussuria looked confused but then his face suddenly lit up with delight (and it was really weird). He pressed his hands against his cheeks in a girlish manner. "Oooooooh! My little sharkie must be finally going through puberty!"

Xanxus arched an eyebrow. "He's not your little sharkie."

"Oh those lovely boyish hormones," Lussuria continued, waving his hand again, not even hearing what the other had said. "You know how those are."

"How I wish I didn't," Xanxus groaned remembering those teenaged years.

"Boys just cover up their feelings out of embarrassment," Lussuria ignored the boss. "Especially Squalo. Why not have a good heart to heart conversation with him, bossu?"

The boss glared lightly. "I already did and it was pretty 'heart to heart' if you ask me. We showed mutual feelings with our yelling," he replied growling with sarcasm.

"Well, then try again! But in a different manner!"

"…..how?" Xanxus questioned, arching his eyebrow in puzzlement.

"Well, try not to make him mad for starters because then he'll get very stubborn and won't listen to a word you say. Squalo is very sensitive…"

"But…."

"Especially around you."

"….why around me?" Xanxus arched an eyebrow.

Lussuria did his little giggle chuckle at the boss' stupid question. "Because he likes you silly. So just be a bit gentle."

"I'm not gentle, Lussuria," Xanxus glared.

Lussuria shrugged. "Well, just be a little bit gentler than you usually are." The feminine man grinned and gently poked his boss in the chest. "Besides, I'm sure there's a cute little kitten somewhere inside of you!"

Xanxus growled lightly. "Don't touch me again."

Lussuria simply chuckled not even feeling one bit threatened by Xanxus' words. "Well, I have to find Bel" he said getting up and waving goodbye as he pretty much skipped away. "Good luck with sharkie!" was his last words as he left the room.

Xanxus sat there for a while in silence, staring at his closed door. His expression showed slight bafflement as his eyebrow remained arched. "Weirdo," was all he had to say about the other before pouring himself another glass of his expensive whiskey.

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**Chapter 2 DONE!**

**Whoo!  
One more chapter to go..  
But anyway, stay tuned for chapter 3 : Confessions Before Sleep  
x3**


	3. Confessions Before Sleep

**Confessions**

**chapter 3**

**XanxusxSqualo**

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters...dur.**

**PHEW!! Finally, I finished the third and final cha,pter! Thank you to all those who read the first two chapters and utterly enjoyed them. Thank you again for eagerly awaiting the final installment of this story that took me way too long to finish. lol xD For that, I apologize.**

**Anyway, enjoy the last chapter of Confessions [cheesy title, dun dun dun duunnnnn xD]**

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The sun started to set and its fiery hue seeped through the open blinds of the shark's room. His eyes were closed as sleep overcame him only minutes ago. Xanxus was still brooding, chugging at his whiskey and feeling its soothing burn roll down his throat. He let out a brief cough and grumbled to himself before taking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly. The whiskey, as well as the silence, was starting to calm him down. It wasn't long until he was calm enough to walk down the hallway towards the shark's room, ready to have a serious talk. Hopefully it wouldn't end in a huge fight where both of them were aggravated and furious at each other (similar to all the other casual conversations they tried so many times to have).

Xanxus stood in front of a closed door, taking another deep breath and this time quickly pushing it out of his nostrils as his fist knocked against the door three times. The sleeping man inside didn't flinch at the sound. Xanxus knocked again when the door wasn't opened only to find his call, once again, unanswered. The boss arched and eyebrow in annoyance and grabbed the door handle, pushing it down and flinging the door open. He would have growled at Squalo for ignoring him had he not seen the young man sleeping on the bed. Xanxus stood there for a moment before walking over to his subordinate who lay there on his back looking so peaceful and…beautiful.

The boss rolled his eyes for no particular reason and sat on the bed watching Squalo sleep for a while. He really did look beautiful when his brow wasn't wrinkled in anger and he wasn't spitting out fire. But then again, he always looked beautiful, sexy even, just Xanxus never paid attention since during those times he too was spitting out a storm.

He watched the slow rise and fall of Squalo's chest, the smooth rhythm it made completely calming him down. Xanxus averted his gaze back to the shark's face, pausing to look there for a moment before leaning forward. He placed his hands on the bed, one on each side of Squalo's head in order to hover over the sleeping man face. He paused again, remembering the same smooth rhythm of the man's breathing and descending his lips gently onto the other man's.

The kiss was soft so it wasn't much of a surprise that the shark didn't wake. It was surprising however, that it summoned a light moan from the sleeping man's throat. Xanxus pulled back just a bit to look at Squalo wondering if he was awake only to find that he wasn't. The boss sat up straight and let out a sigh as he gently brushed his hand through the shark's beautiful long hair before standing up. "We'll talk tomorrow," he muttered making his way to the door.

He hadn't taken even a second step when he heard his name from a familiar voice behind him. Xanxus turned suddenly to look at his subordinate to, again, find him still sleeping. But he knew he heard it. It was low, but the shark mumbled his boss' name in his sleep. "…Squalo…?" It was meant to come out in a baffled tone, but when it did, his words sounded more like a love-sick puppy. This was something the boss was glad no one was around, or awake, to hear, although he himself didn't realize how he sounded.

Xanxus walked that one step back to Squalo's bed and was hovering above him again. This time there was no hesitation before he dropped his head to sink his lips down onto the shark's slightly open mouth. A tongue would have trespassed into a vulnerable mouth hadn't a short grunt spat out from the man lying on the bed. Xanxus pulled back quickly and noticed the man was waking up.

Squalo's eyes slowly opened, then closed again, which gave Xanxus time to sneak his way into a sitting position. His left leg was propped up on the bed to allow him to have his body face Squalo. The shark gradually blinked awake noticing his boss sitting there through tired eyes. "….X-Xanxus?" he muttered wearily, leaning up on his elbows and rubbing his eyes. He stopped and looked at his boss realizing he wasn't dreaming. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I came to talk to you," Xanxus merely stated keeping that usual calm and collected boss attitude (the type of attitude that came before the yelling and the abuse).

"Hmph," Squalo grunted a quick chuckle, but he wasn't amused. Rather he was very annoyed and it showed in the tone of his voice. " 'Bout what now? I thought you were done yelling at me."

Xanxus ignored the shark's sarcasm and went straight to figuring things out. "Lussuria told me some things," he spoke coolly.

Squalo knew this was bad. Lussuria always had the nerve to blurt things out that others didn't want other people to know, so of course the shark's blood boil in fear, embarrassment, and anger. "TOLD YOU WHAT!?! WHAT'D HE TELL YOU!! NOTHING HE SAYS IS TRUE!! DON'T LISTEN TO HIM!!! HE KNOWS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!"

The boss, for once, dismissed the short tempered man's yelling, and continued calmly. "You _like_ me, don't you?"

The shark could feel his cheeks beginning to burn. Lussuria told him _that_!? "VUOOI!!!" he just yelled. "THE HELL YOU TALKING ABOUT!? THERE'S NO GODDAMN WAY – "

The other man cut him off, starting to get annoyed by all the screaming. "Don't lie to me," he growled as he glared intently into Squalo's eyes. This look nearly paralyzed the shark, making his voice shut down and keep quiet. "Do you like me?"

The long-haired man gulped with great difficulty; somehow his throat was instantly dry and raw. Xanxus waited, somewhat impatiently, but he held it in, giving the shark some time to regain his voice. Squalo knew he would have to answer eventually, but he wasn't going down just yet. He broke the gaze that he noticed they held for a long period of time, staring at his side.

Xanxus raised a curious brow. "Is that a yes?" he questioned stern.

The other kept his eyes fixed to the side. "I didn't say anything," Squalo snapped like a shark that caught the scent of blood (how very appropriate for his character).

"Yes or no?" the boss was really losing his patience now.

Squalo hesitated knowing that he had no choice but to finally answer. He took a brief, silent inhale through his nose and exhaled unsteadily through parted lips. "…..yes…." he slowly whispered, it sounding almost like a hissing snake (how very inappropriate considering his usual character).

"Why did you lie to me?" Xanxus arched a brow.

Squalo glanced at Xanxus briefly before averting his eyes. The other man's thick crimson eyes that gazed intently on him made Squalo feel so much more insignificant than ever before. The subordinate hesitated while the boss waited impatiently for an answer.

"Well?" Xanxus snapped not liking the wait one bit.

The shark's shoulders twitch lightly at his boss' tone. His lips finally moved but no words were heard. He was hoping to get out of this situation. But he knew better that Xanxus would not let someone off easy. If he demanded an answer, he'd get it one way or another. Squalo opened his mouth to speak, but the words never sounded from his moving lips. He gave his answer, just not audibly.

"What was that?" Xanxus cooed, the voice sending shivers through the shark's veins.

The long haired man moved his lips again, this time words were heard. "I SAID…" he started off strong but his voice cracked and cowered back down to a pathetic whisper. "…………"

"Louder so I can hear, stupid shark."

"BECAUSE YOU MAKE ME FEEL SO GODDAMN NERVOUS!!!" Squalo shut his eyes in embarrassment, his hands shaking from gripping the bed sheets.

The sudden yelling enraged the other man. He did say louder, but he didn't mean that loud. "WELL YOU KNOW!" Xanxus screamed back, but upon seeing that his raised voiced caused his subordinate to twitch, the boss forced himself to calm down. Lussuria did say to be a bit gentler however hard it was for Xanxus to do.

Squalo still hadn't opened his eyes as if he'd be smacked around or something to that effect if he did. Xanxus let out a rough sigh and leaned forward towards the other male. "…if I kiss you," he continued where his shouting left off as he pressed his forehead against the cowering man's. The shark's eyes shot open at the unexpected and…gentle touch. "…I'm not trying to trick you."

The shark stared into the red eyes that gazed right back at him. He was so close…so close to him…his face…his…Squalo attempted to bolt back after finally registering just how close their faces were. However, his boss had thought ahead and already had his fingers tangled in the shark's beautiful hair, his hand holding his head in place. Squalo knew he couldn't escape this position so instead he averted his eyes. Xanxus was frightening when he was angry, but it was creepy the way he was acting now. At least anger was predictable. This was not.

Xanxus kept his eyes locked on Squalo, his intent gaze never faltering. And just as Squalo dropped his eyes to stare at the bed sheets, Xanxus dropped his to the man's quivering lips. A smirk curved Xanxus' mouth. "Do you want me to kiss you again?"

"EH!?" Squalo brought his eyes back to look at his boss in surprise. He clenched his jaw shut, his body tensing up at the thought of receiving another soft, hot kiss from….wait what the hell was he thinking?

"Well?" his breath was burning with the scent of intoxicating liquor, but Squalo didn't mind. Rather, he made him dizzy just remembering the taste of that mouth. Xanxus wasn't stupid; he saw this which brought about a chuckle.

"Goodnight, Squalo," he said sweetly (which was odd), placing a kiss on the man's cheek (which was also odd). Xanxus stood up to leave, letting his hand drop to his side but not without letting his fingers swim through the entire length of the white hair that was for so many years, a symbol of devotion. He turned to leave, but abruptly stopped as he felt a light tug on his shirt. Somehow in the moment, Squalo had lost control of his body and unconsciously reached out for his boss. It was obvious that the shark still didn't realized he did so until Xanxus peered over his shoulder and spoke. "What is it?"

Squalo snapped back into reality and quickly let go, his cheeks brushed with the lightest shade of pink. "What, ah, nothing! G'night!"

Xanxus smirked, slowly turning around to face Squalo. "What are you waiting for? I said go!" Squalo barked waving his hand, gesturing the other to leave the room. Of course, Xanxus didn't listen. He was, after all, the boss and didn't take orders from his inferiors.

Without any warning or any hesitation, lips clashed again as Xanxus practically flew over to Squalo. The shark gasped behind the kiss as he tried to push his boss off, but the other male proved to be much stronger. Before he knew it, Squalo had been pushed onto his back and crushed beneath his boss' weight. The stench of liquor made Squalo dizzy again and it didn't help that he himself still wore the perfume of Xanxus' favorite wine in his hair and on his skin. Xanxus broke the kiss, giving a lick at Squalo's chin tasting that very wine he had thrown at his subordinate. Squalo wanted to tell him to stop, to get the hell off him, but it seemed he didn't have to have Xanxus willingly rolled off him.

"Goodnight," he muttered closing his eyes leaving a breathless and flustered shark.

"…..night….." Squalo manage to croak back. Oh, but how quickly he regained his breath upon realizing that Xanxus was intending to stay the night in his room. "VUOOOOI!! OUTTA MY ROOM!"

"No," he replied coolly. "I want to sleep here. Your bed's softer than mine."

"NOT MY FAULT!! NOW GET OFF!! I'M NOT SHARING THE SAME BED WITH YOU!!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Xanxus kicked off his boots showing that he wasn't going to leave.

"VUOOOI!" Squalo glared at his boss, poking him in the side in hopes that it would annoy the man enough to leave. It was evident, though, that that wasn't likely to happen.

A brief silence crept up on them, but, as usual, it was the shark that instantly broke it. "Oi, get off my be-" Squalo never did finish that sentence because an arm swooped over him, pulling him down onto his back. The shark turned his head to glare at his boss, his hands gripping the man's arm. Xanxus kept his eyes comfortably closed and a smirk occupied his lips.

"Just sleep, trash," he chuckled, but his insult wasn't the least bit cruel. Rather it was almost, sweetly, if that was even possible.

Now that he was lying down, Squalo felt the touch of sleep trying to win him over. He still hadn't taken a shower…he'll just have to do it later.

"Stupid boss," Squalo retaliated, his eyes closed now and his cheeks flushed crimson.

"Dumb shark."

**~end~**

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**Yeeeeeah, feels good to be finished......but now I want to write another fanfiction now that I'm in a SadiqxHeracles [TurkeyxGreece] crave lately.  
So yeah, I hope you enjoyed the last chater as much as the first two.  
I love reviews and comments so please send me them. I love to hear what you have to say, even if it's mean, heartless flame because then I can laugh at you. But if it's constructive critism or just plain love, then much love and appreciation to you~ **


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